The place of sex within a femdom relationship (a female-dominated relationship) is very dependent on the femdomina herself. In general, the pivot within the interaction is the dependency and control options of men through sexual manipulation. Orgasm control, forced chastity and sexual use are common control techniques.

Consensus

Within the BDSM scene (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) there has long been a kind of consensus that sex – and especially penetration – is a submissive experience and therefore does not belong in a relationship where the woman is dominant. For a long time it has been a primary difference between a game played by a man with a female submissive and the other way around. But of course, some female dominants have always been of the opinion that the essence of their dominance within a relationship lies in the fact that they decide everything. And therefore also whether, when and how there is sexual interaction. That opinion has grown further from occasional dominas to a movement: femdom.

Chastity

A man in a femdom relationship has no (or limited) influence over his sexual activities. Some femdominas impose that rule, assuming that agreement is kept. Some have their sub purchase a chastity belt. These belts now come in all shapes, sizes and variations, from iron to plastic. The woman who has the key is called the key bearer. Most chastity belts are made in such a way that a man can still urinate with them, but the ability to become hard is often limited. Or is punished by means of a tube lined with points. There are of course also belts where all this is possible, but a man still cannot reach it himself, because of the tube around his genitals.

Sexual use and orgasm control

In addition to the fairly strict method of orgasm control described above, this rule often also applies in other situations. The core of the agreement is that the submissive man may only come if he has explicit permission to do so. One way to push a sub to the limit is ‘tease and denial’. Here a sub becomes more and more excited, but is always not allowed to come, or is punished when he is close to coming. Especially when used sexually by a domina, this is often very difficult for a sub to maintain. There are various forums on the internet where they exchange tips. If an orgasm does eventually occur, it is often a liberation, although for some it is a disappointment and a quest for better control if they did not have permission for this.

Ruined orgasms

Another way to control a sub’s sexuality is ‘ruined orgasms’. A sub becomes increasingly excited, but is not allowed to cum. The challenge and excitement continue until finally permission is given to have an orgasm. At the supreme moment, the domina makes coming as unpleasant as possible. This can be done by holding back ejaculation itself or adding a strong fear or pain stimulus. The latter of course only works when the sub involved is not masochistic in nature, otherwise it has a completely opposite effect. Like so many behaviors, there is also a ruined orgasm fetish, where it is no longer a negative stimulus, but rather an experience that a sub actively seeks.