Alcohol addiction is one of the worst addictions there is. How do you deal with your father or mother’s alcohol addiction as a child? How does this affect the rest of your life? People with an addiction usually do not admit that they have a problem. In their eyes, they like to have a drink and don’t understand what those around them are making so difficult about. However, alcohol addiction can completely disrupt a family. If you live as a child with an alcoholic parent, you can have many problems with this later in life.
How does alcohol addiction begin?
Not all people are equally susceptible to addictions. If you are sensitive to this, it may manifest itself during a difficult period in your life. Alcohol addiction can develop at a fairly young age. During puberty it often starts with a drink while going out. Although many young people drink excessively when going out, not all of them develop a drinking problem. However, alcohol addiction can only develop later in life.Initially, people start out as social drinkers. A social drinker drinks at parties and occasions. A social drinker may have had one too many beers, but alcohol does not predominate in his/her life. Problems only arise when alcohol becomes predominant in someone’s life. The drinker thinks a lot about alcohol, often secretly drinks and becomes increasingly dependent on alcohol. Alcohol addicts usually do not admit that they have a problem. That can be very frustrating for the environment.
What does alcohol addiction do to the environment?
People react very differently to the use of alcohol. Some are already tipsy after two glasses of wine, others you hardly notice after a case of beer. There are people with a “nice” drink, but also people with an angry drink. The fact remains that people who drink too much alcohol behave differently than normal. This has a negative effect on the environment if this happens structurally. If you, as a parent, regularly drink too much, you can lose the respect of your children. They may become ashamed of their father or mother.
What does alcohol addiction of a parent do to a child?
A father’s or mother’s alcohol addiction has a major impact on children. Alcoholics undergo a permanent change in behavior due to excessive use of alcohol. Long-term alcohol abuse affects the brain. For alcoholics, drinking becomes so important that everything around it becomes secondary. Even their own children. Confidence in their father or mother continues to decline. Children hold out hope for a long time that things will change one day, but are disappointed time and time again.Arguments with the partner often arise due to the addiction. Children are always the victims of parental arguments. Normally children are loyal to both parents, but when one parent abuses alcohol, children usually choose the other parent. Tensions between the parents are increasing and this often causes arguments on a daily basis. Alcoholics rarely admit that they have a problem and are therefore usually unwilling to seek treatment.The behavior of alcohol addicts can take on increasingly extreme forms. Examples of this are:
- Lying and cheating on the partner and/or children
- Physical abuse of the partner and/or children
- Mental abuse of the partner and/or children
Lying and cheating on the partner and/or children
Drink becomes so important to the alcoholic that everything and everyone becomes subordinate to it. They are even willing to lie to the people they love most. The need for alcohol is so strong that even the children no longer come first. Children can feel terribly cheated and abandoned. Alcohol addiction is a mental illness, but that is very difficult for children to understand.
Physical abuse of the partner and/or children
Some alcoholics become aggressive when they drink. No matter how sweet and gentle they may be in character, as soon as they get drunk they undergo a change in character. If drinking becomes structural, this change in character will become increasingly permanent. The environment no longer recognizes the former person. This is very threatening for children. A parent should be the person you can always turn to as a child. A parent should protect their children, not abuse them. If a child lives in such a situation for a long time, he/she will become very anxious. Children often, out of loyalty, blame themselves. This can have a lot of influence in their later lives. They can completely self-efface, they often have low self-esteem and little trust in other people.
Mental abuse of the partner and/or children
Mental abuse is at least as bad as physical abuse by an alcoholic parent. Badly drunk alcoholics start fights under the influence of alcohol. The annoying thing about these arguments is that they are based on nothing. The alcoholic argues for the sake of arguing. Victims of these arguments, usually the partner and/or children, can suffer mentally as a result. It is difficult for young children to understand why their father or mother always picks fights. Older children will increasingly resist the behavior of their drunken parent. Children often feel powerless in this situation. Addressing the alcoholic parent about his/her behavior makes little sense, because an alcoholic does not think he or she has a problem. The other parent is often unstable due to the situation and therefore unable to provide support to the children. As a result, they have to rely on themselves from an early age.
Influence on your future life
Spending your childhood in a family with an alcoholic can have a major impact on your future life. Of course this depends on several factors. The most important factor is your own character. If you have become a fighter through the setbacks in your youth, you can go very far in the rest of your life. Trust in other people will have to grow again through good experiences. With such a character, you often have an aversion to addictions and you want to fight to give your children a better childhood than you had. Be careful not to ignore yourself too much, because that has become second nature in your youth.You may also have inherited the character of the alcoholic old r. You feel like a victim of your youth and start to copy the behavior of your alcoholic father or mother. You are not strong enough to cope with addictions and blame your difficult childhood.Your youth will always influence your future life. Given the choice, we all want a happy, carefree childhood with loving parents. However, it does not guarantee a happy, carefree life. People who had a pleasant childhood can still fall prey to addictions. People who had a difficult childhood, for example due to alcoholism of one of the parents, can see this as a lesson in what not to do. Due to their bad start, these can become strong personalities who are willing to fight for happiness.