You hear about it regularly and many people will also say “something like that won’t happen to me”… until the moment it happens to you. You often don’t see something like that coming. The holiday is a moment of rest and if there is not much rest, then you try to pack your “happiness” back into a holiday. However, if things are no longer “right” in a relationship, the holiday is often the spoilsport.

You know it…

Strangely enough, many people say afterwards that they knew it was wrong and still needed or wanted to use the holiday to breathe new life into the relationship. However, if the time has come, the chance that the relationship can be saved is not really great. Whether it is grasping at straws or a serious opportunity to put a positive spin on the relationship, many people try to save the relationship in this way.

Grow apart

Saving the relationship during a vacation generally has nothing to do with relationships that are clearly going wrong during the duration of the relationship. Other partners come into the picture, love that is simply no longer there or otherwise. It becomes more difficult with the relationship where both partners develop (or one of the two) and they grow apart. This is usually a slow process that continues steadily and often one does not really notice it until the moment that unpleasant words are said, one of the partners thinks there is not enough time or one of the partners flees into other areas. things than a good balance between work and private life.When the holiday period approaches, many people have had a busy period and are ready for a holiday. That can also cause even more irritability and is actually not the ideal time to work on your relationship. Yet we do it en masse.

Holidays!

Hallelujah, it’s the holidays so now we have all the time for each other. And often things go well for the first few days. But the unrest does not leave the body and will have to manifest itself somewhere, at least if you do not express it. This also means that the smallest mischievousness can be blown up into a real issue, because that little thing is just the drop that can break the camel’s back.

No remedy during the holiday season

It is therefore a utopia to think that the holiday period will save a relationship that is growing lopsided. A serious attempt to save the relationship is not so much peace, but more about identifying the sore points, providing clarity and a commitment to make an effort to respect the new agreements. It goes without saying that when love is no longer there, even a serious attempt is pointless. But you can use the process.

Always vacation

If you want to use the vacation process to save your relationship, you should look at the vacation. What do you do, how do you behave, how does it feel, etc.A relationship is an investment in each other (and not just once) and the often used argument of time or actually the lack of time, which comes up quite quickly, is a non-argument. You control your time and if you don’t have enough time to work on your relationship, you do it yourself. You also set priorities yourself and if the relationship is given too little time, you do not consider it important enough. In this case too, start by being honest with yourself.

Relax and invest

Assuming you want to do that, you invest. During your time together you do things that you also do during the holidays. Initially, a relaxed atmosphere is important and what comes next is up to you. Where one couple will do active things together, the other couple will relax and talk about fun things for the future. Don’t forget to get rid of all your potential disruptions (laptop, cell phone, etc.) and be really honest with each other. Confidence that you are in a safe environment is an absolute must for any serious attempt.This should not be experienced as a necessity, but the balance between work and private life should be such that it fits smoothly into your overall life picture. Think of the well-known yin and yang.If it’s new to you, it’s not surprising that it seems a bit forced at first, but it has to be your rhythm of life and then the puzzle pieces will fall into place. No success is guaranteed, because even in a serious attempt where you are both focused on the process, you can still come to the conclusion that you have grown apart. But that’s life too and apparently it had to be that way. The chance that it will yield something for you, namely not an unpleasant divorce but cherishing the beautiful moments, is greater.

Finally

Vacation is nice, but vacation can easily become a disillusionment if you use it to save your relationship. A boost because you haven’t had enough time for each other is one thing, but a relationship that has grown apart or a relationship that is not quite right in advance is a completely different story. So don’t create any illusions for yourself.